sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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