He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fuck appropriateness.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize
