I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
