You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
