I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I understand Curling. That high.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
