Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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