return my video game
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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