wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
