So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
