He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
