just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How external is "for external use only"?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
