btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
