hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize