i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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