well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
