They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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