this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize