Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
