Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you would pick up someone in the library
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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