Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
