You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
