Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
