True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
