You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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