so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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