you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
