marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
