A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
