do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
