he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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