"it" just moved
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
