I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize