I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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