Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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