I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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