the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
