I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize