you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
