normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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