so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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