i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he was CRYING into my vagina
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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