Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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