plz talk dirty to me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
