you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
