there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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