when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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