ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
