Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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