So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
