Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
