A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
