For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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