I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
