If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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