My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
