I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
