dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
