His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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